1769 South Eighth Street . Colorado Springs . Colorado . 80905
"We are not a glum lot. We absolutely insist on enjoying life!"
A drunk walks into a bar, sits down and demands a drink. "Get out" says the bartender. "I don't serve drunks here". The drunk staggers out the front door, only to come back in through the side door. He sits at the bar, bangs his fist and demands a drink. "I just told you to get out, didn't I? Now LEAVE!". The drunk gets off his stool, stumbles out the side door and, comes back inside through the back door. Once again, he sits at the bar and loudly asks for a drink. The bartender, now glowing mad, looks at the drunk and yells "I TOLD YOU, NO DRUNKS ALLOWED, NOW GET OUT!!!". The drunk looks up at the bartender and slurs "How many bars do you work at, anyway?"
"Always do sober what you said
you'd do drunk. That will teach
you to keep your mouth shut."
"Always remember that I have
taken more out of alcohol than
alcohol has taken out of me."
"He was a wise man who
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
His reply: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
"Beer is proof that God loves us
and wants us to be happy".
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." Humphrey Bogart
"I drink to make other people
George Jean Nathan
Coincidence is God's work when He chooses to remain anonymous.
Two drunks were stumbling along a railroad track. One says, "All these stairs are killing me." The other says, "It's not the stairs that are killing me, it's these low railings."
The Devil walks into a crowded bar. Within seconds the bar emptied with people running out screaming all over the place, all except for one old man leaned over the bar. The Devil wanders across to the old man and says "Do you know how I am?" The old man took another sip of his beer and answered "Yep" The Devil stared at the old man and asked "Well aren't you afraid of me?"The old boy looks the Devil up and down for a minute and shrugs "I married your sister 40 years ago, why the hell should I be scared of you?"
And this is AA?
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship designed and
administered by a bunch of ex-drunks, whose only qualifi-
cation for membership is that they can't hold their liquor,
and they don't want to learn how.
It has no rules, dues or fees, nothing that any sensible organization seems to require. At meetings, the speaker starts out on one subject, and winds up talking about something entirely different, and concludes by saying he doesn't know anything about the program, except that it works!
The groups are always broke, yet always seem to have
money to carry on. They are always losing members, but
they seem to grow. They claim that AA is a selfish program, but they always seem to be doing something for others.
Every group passes laws, rules, edicts and pronounce-
ments that everyone blithely ignores. Members who disagree
with anything are privileged to walk out in a huff, quitting
forever, only to return as though nothing had happened,
and are greeted accordingly.
Nothing is ever planned twenty-four hours ahead,
yet great projects are born and survive magnificently.
nothing in AA is according to Hoyle.
The 12 Promises
1. You will know your full name and address.
2. You will be able to shave without medical attention.
3. You will be able to dress and undress yourself.
4. You will know the city, state and country you are in.
5. You will be able to find socks that match.
6. You will be able to smoke without burning yourself, your clothes or the furniture.
7. You will lose the fear of eating.
8. You will spend less time in the bathroom.
9. You will be able to walk a straight line and pass the balloon test with flying colors.
10.You will lose the fear of police cars.
11.You will lose the fear of answering the door or the telephone.
12.You will realize the mess you've made of your life and the lives of those around you and to be grateful to God for leading you to A.A.
to win. We give
it away to keep
it. We suffer to
get well, and
we die to
THAT'S GOD TALKING . . .
Have you ever been just sitting there, and all of a sudden you feel like doing
something nice for someone you care for?
THAT'S GOD talking to you through the Spirit.
Have you ever been down and out, and nobody seems to be around for you to talk to?
THAT'S GOD wanting you to talk to Him.
Have you ever been thinking about somebody that you haven't seen in a long time,
and then next thing you know, you see or receive a phone call from that person?
THAT'S GOD. There is no such thing as coincidence.
Have you ever received something wonderfulthat you didn't even ask for, like money
in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared, or a coupon to a department
store where you had just seen something you needed, but couldn't afford?
THAT'S GOD knowing the desires of your heart.
Have you ever been in a situation and you had no cluehow it was going to get better,
how the hurting would stop,how the pain would ease, but now you look back on it . . .
THAT'S GOD passing us through tribulationto see a brighter day.
"To those who have
made progress in AA, humility amounts only to a clear recognition of what
and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become
what we can be."
"We commenced to make
many fast friends and a fellowship has grown up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part of. The joy of living
we really have, even under pressure and difficulty."
Perhaps it is because we in AA have learned how
to live, and to laugh at ourselves. God made man and he
made laughter too. Perhaps he is pleased with our disorganized efforts, and makes things run right no
matter who pushes the wrong button. Maybe he is pleased,
not with our perfection, but with our sincerity. Maybe
he is pleased because we are trying to be nobody but ourselves. We don't know how it works, but it does,
and members keep receiving their dividend checks
from their AA investments constantly.
Anonymous from "By the Way"
The Clean Slate Meeting Place web site is not endorsed by AA, NA, CA, or any other 12 Step recovery program but is guided by their principles. Please visit our "Links & Info" page to find official 12 Step web sites.